Graduation.

This is it. My friends and I have been looking forward to this week since the first day of school in September. GRADUATION. Although this is an exciting day on Saturday, it is extremely bittersweet. We look forward to the future, but I know for a fact I'll miss high school. I won't miss the drama or immature people - but i'll miss being young. I grow up on Saturday. I enter into adulthood. That's a scary and serious thing. I'm ready to take on that challenge. Our house has been crazy. Grandparents coming from out of town, friends and family staying with us. We've been preparing for my open house, and all the exciting plans we have this summer. My Mom deserves all the credit. Although she hasn't been involved in my school for a year, she is the reason I can graduate. She is the reason I had such a wonderful education. A year ago I was faced with a choice - should I stay home schooled or go to public school? I prayed about it and couldn't make a decision. I finally sat back and thought about what my Mom would have wanted for me. That's when I made the choice to be home schooled my final year. It wasn't easy doing it, but it was the best. I was blessed with incredible friends. I got to live it up one more year, with the kids I grew up with. And now I get to graduate with them on Saturday. I get to receive my diploma with the greatest friends. I AM SO BLESSED. I tear up just thinking about how i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e my senior year was. I wouldn't trade this year for anything! Saturday will be a wonderful celebration. Although I wish my Mom would be there I know she's proud of me. I know she would have wanted to hand me that diploma. My Dad will hand it to me instead. I couldn't ask for a more supportive, encouraging Father. He has gotten me through the worst years of my life. I am so incredibly thankful for being blessed with wonderful parents. It feels like just yesterday I was this age...

beautiful things.

This weekend coming up is incredibly hard. It always is. My birthday is on Saturday, and Mother's Day is Sunday. Mother's day is obviously hard, as I'm sure all of you know. Last year our family went to church on Mother's Day, which was the worst decision ever. This year, I decided I would worship from home. It's way to hard seeing every Mother in church stand up for celebration..and seeing an empty seat next to me. That's one of life's challenges that only God can get me and my siblings through. You may be wondering why my birthday is so hard. Well, it represents one of the worst days of my life. The day we found out my Mom had cancer. I still remember it crystal clear, as if it was yesterday - and here we are now. The rest is all a blur. But my birthday is extremely hard. Not only would I love to have Mom be here to celebrate with us, but I also am reminded of that horrible scar, and the pain we all felt that night. That day on my birthday, before we had found out anything I remember Mom was exhausted, laying on the bed with me watching a movie. She made me mac and cheese and strawberries, a tradition for my birthday lunch. It took her 3 hours to make the home made mac and cheese and afterwards she looked like she was about to collapse. I kept telling her to take a nap and all she said was "It's just a cold Callie, this is your day, whatever you want I will do it." Those words "It's just a cold Callie.." still replay over and over in my brain. And then the words "Whatever YOU want.." My mom was incredibly selfless. She was just that all through her battle of cancer. For almost 3 years, she cooked and cleaned and was so brave, even though she was terribly sick. I pray that I'll even be half as close to what an amazing woman she was. God makes beautiful things out of disasters. We never see the beauty. Sometimes we get a small glimpse, sometimes not. I got a small glimpse of a true Mother's love. When Mom's days were almost through, our whole family was down in Detroit. When the doctors took her off life support she was given the most, an hour. But she fought, so hard. Although she wasn't awake I thought she probably could hear us. She lasted all night long, literally fighting for her life. One of the nurses pulled me aside and said "I want you to know how much we love your Mom. This is typical with Mothers. They usually fight and hold on if they know their kids are here." Think about that...My mom was fighting for US. She went through the pain and struggle, and she was holding on for us. That blows my mind. I wasn't sure if Mom could hear us when we talked. The doctors said that everyone in a coma can hear, but can't reply. The last words I said to Mom were in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping. I sat by her hospital bed, holding her hand and whispered to her "You can let go now, we'll be alright, God is waiting for you Mom, with his arms opened really wide, I love you so much." And about 2 hours later, she went home. The minute she died, the sun was slowly poking through the bottom of the shades in the hospital room. You usually see that in movies, and it sounds stupid..but it actually does something to you. In that moment I felt like God was smiling down on us, even though we were grieving. I really felt peace, knowing that God was so pleased on the life she lived. Although there are many struggles ahead for our family, many moments when we just start crying, moments when we ache and hurt, God has created something beautiful. He has rewarded my Mom with a crown of jewels, which I am sure she has placed at His feet. He's brought so many to Christ, through her trial and is continuing to do so when people hear the story. GOD MAKES BEAUTIFUL THINGS OUT OF DISASTERS. It's complete truth.

ME.

I was writing down some things about myself...this is Callie. I'm crazy, a little insane sometimes, and extremely loud. I'm in love with mac and cheese, pizza, and salad. I'm obsessed with strawberries. I have dirty blonde hair, very long eyelashes, green eyes, tiny lips, and a gummy smile. I have a tiny piece of metal in my wrist followed by four small scars. I can listen to a song and instantly go play it on the piano. I have a lot of friends. A LOT. I have lots of best friends. I'm a worrier. I get worked up and worry about tiny things. I let things get to me. What people say and how they talk to me can drastically affect my mood. I love the smell of bread, gasoline, and thanksgiving dinner. Summer is my favorite season. I have a bucket list, with the most unique things in the world on it. I love romantic movies...I could watch them all day long. My love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch. I don't let people judge me and I don't change for them, no matter how much they're offended. I believe that if you sin the second before you die, you will not perish. I believe in the one true God, who is holy and incredible. I love moving my hips and dancing around constantly. I sing at the top of my lungs in the shower and wake up everyone in my house. I love bouncing on beds, jumping up and down. I love cuddling and hugging. Digging my toes in the sand is one of the greatest feelings. I believe Francis Chan is awesome. My favorite Bible verse is John 16:33. I am strangely entertained by the noise it makes when it rains, and you drive your car under a bridge. I cannot walk in high heels. I get angry if the lights are on while I watch TV. I have a real issue being around wimps. I freak out if I or someone touches my collar bone or larynx. I am terrified of spiders, snakes, and chickens. I love spending hours reading the Bible. I have the passion to be involved in Criminal Justice. I'm crazily obsessed with murder mysteries..especially Poriot, Monk, and Agatha Christie. I think hand written love letters are the absolute best and beat any text or message or phone call. I am passionate about cancer awareness. I have a fear of hospitals. I'm very bitter towards Sparrow Hospital. I am insanely allergic to watermelon and other melons. I am a multitasker. I am a scatterbrained person. I remember everything, and stuff is constantly circling around in my head. I miss my Mom every second of every day. I love Gaylord. I love being on my Grandma's farm surrounded by land and peace. I have an obsession with Dr. Pepper and Root Beer. I love cloud watching. I love laughing in cool, green grass that has been freshly cut. I'm a daydreamer. I often get sidetracked sitting around dreaming about my life. Running your fingers through my hair is the greatest thing anyone could ever do for me. I love being sung to and getting my back tickled. I give EPIC butterfly kisses. I have extreme problems saying no to ice cream. My favorite colors are blue, green, orange and purple. I DETEST PINK. I hate the color. With a passion. So much I could puke. My favorite stores are target and hollister. My whole wardrobe is from those stores. I get creeped out if I hear the tiniest noise in my house when I'm home alone. I have a fear of being taken. I sleep with a knife by my bed every night. I love comfy, huge, beds. I love music..I could not get through life without it. I have a tendency to bite my nails. I love drinking coke out of glass bottles. Candles make me happy. I have a strong attraction to anyone wearing cologne. I LOVE FURRY BLANKETS. I hate foundation with a passion. I have never used it in my entire life, its too gross and liquidy. I love sparkles. Everything should be glittery. I believe that life is a beautiful thing. Cherish every second, every memory.

Wizard Of Oz

Incredible. That's the first thing I think of when someone sings an Oz song, I see pictures of the play, I remember the good memories, or I sit here in MAJOR HPA hangover and withdrawal. Lansing 2011-2012 season of HPA was amazing. I was blessed to be part of the awesome production. The friendships I made, memories created are going to last me a lifetime. This year was harder for me than any other HPA play before. I am a senior. When show week started I wanted to sit down and cry. Not only was it my last year performing, but I decided I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP. AT ALL. I was wishing I was 5 years old again. I was wishing we could keep performing the play over and over and over and never ending, but I couldn't stop time. As Saturday night approached I realized how blessed I've been by HPA. It has changed my life, for the better. God placed me there. Each cast member, each crew member, and each director has blessed me in some personal way. We're one big family. We all come together. I always call them "My HPA family!" I love them all. We've laughed together, cried together, had problems with each other..but by the end of the show, we're all best friends. I would not trade my HPA years for anything in the whole world. To everyone who was involved in Wizard Of Oz and HPA in the past years - thank you. Thank you for blessing my life. Thank you for changing it in a special way. Thank you for loving me and accepting me, and for making my high school experience absolutely incredible. I love every single one of you.

taking a break from life.

Ever wish you could just take a break from life? Take a break from all the drama, stress, people..and sometimes even your friends? I know I sure do. There are days sometimes that I wish I could just dig myself a hole, and live underground. Sometimes I wish I could just run away and go to some island where no one can find me. Imagine that! A life full of YOU time. A life fully focused on God and you. Not having to worry about anything else or anyone. I wish that could happen. I think there's a point in everyone's life when you want to give up. I know I've hit that spot. Recently, lots has been going on in my life. Things I've been frustrated with, people I've been annoyed with, stressing about graduating and finishing school strong. I just want to stop the clock. I want to take some time to myself. All by myself. No distractions or anything. Obviously, that can't happen. But for the past 3 days I haven't used my phone that much. I've realized I can avoid people or things - I just have to simply shut my phone off. All of a sudden I feel calm and at peace. I really do. It also gives me time to pray about things in my life. And being FULLY focused on God. I'm completely sick of drama. I'm completely sick of life and situations. But I'm honestly trying to see what God wants me to learn. He wants me to learn to be content. He wants me to focus on the good part of my life. He wants me to LEARN from my circumstances. He wants me to learn from the drama, the frustration, the dealing with difficult situations..everything is a learning experience. I'm glad I get to learn it at a younger age. "There are things in life we don’t want to happen, but have to accept; things we don’t want to know, but have to learn, and people we can’t live without, but have to let go. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not – won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and not lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for." So sometimes I want to escape. Sometimes I want to just shut the world out and just have me and God time, all the time. Giving all of it to Him. So that's what I'm doing. I'm focusing just on Him alone, and letting myself rest completely..from everything and everyone.

words.

Words.
The average words spoken in one day is between 15,000 and 30,000. Think about it...how often do you speak? We say words all day long, whether its to ourselves, our family, our friends, through the social networks, in our mind..we are constantly speaking, hearing, thinking..and processing information. Everything we see we have opinions on. Honestly, to control our words, we have to control our heart. God says "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." OUCH! Those words are powerful.

Today I had a thought. Do I actually stop and think about the things I say? Do I ever think before I open my mouth, or do things just fly out? As most of you know I speak my mind. I like to tell myself I'm a very real person. I don't hide too much, if someone wants to know anything, I tell them straight up..that's just how it is.

What if everyone thought before they spoke? What if words didn't cut, hurt, or offend? If certain words weren't spoken and didn't sink into the very deepest part of our soul how would we feel? Girls would actually feel beautiful and not tore down by every other girl in the world, everyone would feel loved, every word would be uplifting and encouraging, people wouldn't give up so easily, we would strive to do our best, and we wouldn't need to want that constant approval of others.

I once read a quote that said "Handle your words carefully, for words have more power than atomic bombs."
I agree with that. I know from my personal experiences with people that words can kill. Words can rip apart everything you believe, especially when coming from a friend or someone you thought you trusted. Words can tear apart your self-esteem, and cause you to believe Satan and the world's lies..instead of listening to God's TRUTH about you. And we wonder why people all around are committing suicide, cutting themselves, starving themselves, or getting involved in illegal activity. Our society uses useless words and drills into each persons mind who they "have to be" who they "need to become" and is so focused on the "who cares?" aspect on life. What we need to do is fall on our knees and we need to become something for God. No one else. That's all that matters.

So watch your words...think about everyone. Do you want to hurt them? Does God want you to cut them down with your laser sharp tongue? Be a REAL light for God and watch what you say.

who says you can't date as a teenager?

Who says you can’t date when you’re younger? I hear so many kids in the homeschool community talk about teenage dating and acting so knowledgeable and who are so quick to say “It won’t work out” or “Wait for God to give you the perfect one” and “you can’t find the one when you’re a teenager!”


Well who really says that? That’s completely ridiculous to say something like that. Give me one Bible verse that says it is sinful and a horrible idea to date when you’re a teenage. Give me one example when God says “Don’t date as a teenager.” I partially agree, in the area of lots of teenage relationships do end. Honestly, it depends on the person. But it extremely frustrates me, and has since age 12 when people act like they know everything. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when you start slamming what you believe down someone else’s throat, it’s not right, in any way. 1 word – experience. How will you learn anything? Yes it hurts to get your heart broken, but honestly the results are so impactful. For those of you who spend hours writing about how teen dating is bad, think about this. Do you know anything about what it feels like to hurt in that department? Have you learned how easy people lie or cheat? Or have you discovered how careful you should be because people cover up who they actually are? It’s not pleasant to experience the hurt, but all of a sudden when you do, you’re eyes open you become so less naïve. All of a sudden, all your life decisions become better, and smarter because YOU’VE LEARNED. YOU’VE EXPERIENCED IT. All of these are life lessons that should be learned.



Setting the learning life lessons aside, I want everyone to see the biggest part of this. Who are you to say that God doesn’t want teen dating? Does God even say that it doesn’t work out? Think on this – What if God brought the right one into your life when you’re 16, 17, or 18? What if He did? It’s plain out dumb to say God won’t bring someone into your life, until you’re ready for marriage. Yes, some people have their standards of dating and don’t feel they’re ready WHICH IS COMPLETELY FINE. If your choice is to not date until you’re ready, I understand that. What I don’t understand is when you say that God will never bring someone to you at a young age. Also, when you start to judge others lives that do date when they’re teenagers. Honestly, it’s judging God. Acting like you know his plan for everyone’s life. Now think about all the high school sweethearts out there that get married after graduation. Yes, that was in older times, but still…If God chooses to bring the right person in your life as a teenager than that’s great. If he doesn’t, then wait in love, not judging others who do have a significant other. Sometimes God’s answers are right in front of you. By all of your talk, it also judges the knowledge of several parents out there. If you’re allowed to date, then obviously your parents think you’re smart enough, mature enough, or spiritually ready etc.


If you’re in a relationship and you’re around my age…there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you keep your relationship God honoring, and focused on him. If God is your TOP priority, over your significant other, than you’re right where you should be. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.” If you’re relationship in every way is focused on God, than nothing is wrong with it.

Who says you can’t date as a teenager? Think about it.